"What is love?"
For eons, philosophers, poets, healers, theologians and mystics have attempted to answer this question on behalf of the burning hearts and questioning minds of mankind.
In the New Testament, there are three types of love. Eros is romantic or sexual love, and this root is where we get such words as eroticism and erotic. Phileo is the love of friendship, where we love another because we like a person. From this root, we get words such as Philadelphia (city of brotherly love) and bibliophile (lover of books). The third type of love is agape. This is the unconditional love of the Divine that radiates towards us, and can be channeled through us.
What does "unconditional" mean, though? It means "no conditions". It means a love that is not depedent on what a person does. While the first two types of love may come easily for most people, agape does not. Spiritual practice, meditation, and non-attachment can help us display unconditional love that is usually ascribed to the Divine.
Some people bristle at the idea of agape. I can understand that. People get it into their heads that unconditional love means putting up with idiots, including violent spouses or verbally abusive bosses. Or, allowing a child to do anything he or she darn well pleases in the name of "unconditional acceptance". In my opinion, that's "sloppy agape", otherwise known as "stupid love". "Stupid love" is a term I coined one day when discussing how some people seem to be gluttons for punishment, repeatedly returning to scenarios that disempower them.
Yes, these people are on a soul's journey and may be learning valuable lessons. But Jesus said some wise words that are not often talked about or preached upon: "Jesus looked directly at them and asked, 'Then what is the meaning of that which is written: The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone? Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed.'" Luke 20:17,18 As with all sacred texts, there are many layers of meaning. I see this portion of scripture talking about the Divine, especially in terms of learning lessons. The journey towards awareness and greater consciousness often means loosening the grip of ego on our vast and bright spirits. The ego, flesh, whatever you want to call it, does not want to die. And so, when we journey on a path toward the Divine and love itself, what we deem "pain" may be a part of the process. However, going the road of woe as opposed to wisdom may make the "pain" seems much worse.
Mystic and poet Kahlil Gibran seems to echo this sentiment in his profound book The Prophet:
"When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him.
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crows you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your
Tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love."
The Bible is full of similar symbols with regards to God and love, including fuller's soap, refiner's fire, and "anything that can be shaken will be shaken.". However, speaking of the nature of love is a lot like speaking of the Divine: words do not adequately express what it is, although most of us know how it feels. Like the mystic pointing at the Moon and saying "I'm not the Moon, I'm just pointing at it", our attempts at explaining love seem to fall short of conveying its essence.
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